


Take it on faith

by Blackwidowislyfe



Series: Little-venger verse [9]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Age Regression/De-Aging, Also Bucky is about five months in this one, Awesome Sam Wilson, Baptism, Catholic Steve Rogers, Confessions, Crisis of Faith, Gen, How Do I Tag, If I ever do, Lack of faith, Let it be known that I am in the middle of my own crisis of faith, M/M, Non-Sexual Age Play, Religion, Religious Content, Religious Discussion, Roman Catholicism, Sam Wilson Is a Good Bro, Steve Feels, Steve Rogers is Not a Virgin, Steve Rogers-centric, Steve will find his happy ending before I do, Yeah idk how to tag, mentions of age play, religous confession
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-03
Updated: 2016-06-03
Packaged: 2018-07-11 17:23:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,464
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7062442
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Blackwidowislyfe/pseuds/Blackwidowislyfe
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Steve was a golden boy once, as far as everyone else knows. Now? Now he's a little lost, a lot confused, and searching.</p><p>OR</p><p>The one where Steve has a moment because he thinks he can't be Catholic because he's with Sam. Which isn't exactly the truth</p>
            </blockquote>





	Take it on faith

**Author's Note:**

> LONG NOTES WARNING FEEL FREE TO SKIP. Now then:
> 
> 1: HUUUUUGE thanks to [radiowavemisfit](http://archiveofourown.org/users/radiowavemisfit) for helping me with this. They are the bestest. :3  
> 2: I was born and raised Catholic. I, unfortunately, know more about Catholicism than I really want to. I tried to keep the nitty gritty of the faith to a minimum, but it did sneak in a little towards the end. If you have any questions, you are more than free to ask them either in the comments or over on my [tumblr.](http://littlewidowlovesu.tumblr.com)  
> 3: Steve and I are going through the same thing. He's going to find his answer before I find mine, but then again I'm not looking that hard for an answer yet.  
> 4: Bucky is about 5-5 1/2 months in this fic. I keep meaning to put his age in the notes.  
> 5: Enjoy!

1.

Tony had been wanting to sell his DC property, but Sam and Steve had both convinced him to let them use it as a vacation home. Steve had been wanting to see Peggy for a while and Sam wanted to meet up with a few of his pals. That and letting Bucky meet Peggy seemed like as good of an excuse as any to take the trip.

 

Unfortunately EVERYONE underestimated Steve's mother hen instincts. He had thrown himself into the depths of parenting websites and youtube videos and Sam had threatened to stay behind three different times. But at long last, they were on Tony's personal jet to his DC compound.

 

* * * *

 

"Steve? You're... you're alive!" Peggy cried. He went through this every time, but he would do it if it meant keeping her around.

 

"Yeah Peg," Steve smiled, kissing her hand. "And I got... I got someone I think you oughta meet." She nodded, and in walked Sam with Bucky. Peggy began to cry all over again. She reached for the baby and Sam happily passed him off.

 

"Oh he's so precious," She cooed. "He looks just like... like Bucky...."

 

"His name is James," Steve supplied. It wasn't completely a lie.

 

"Oh little James!" Peggy cooed. Steve smiled, realizing she was in love already. "Has he been baptized yet?"

 

"Psh, yeah right," Steve said, earning a death glare from his best girl.

 

"Steven Grant Rogers how dare you!" She scolded. "What would your mother think?"

 

"Geez Peg," Steve whined. "Ma's been gone for so long. 'sides, who's gonna baptize a kid to two guys anyways? The church ain't about that life."

 

"I don't care. Your mother would have wanted it and you know that," Peggy said firmly, bouncing the kid in her lap, earning herself a giggle for the effort. "You know I'm right."

 

"Excuse me, but are we talking about the same person here Miss Carter?" Sam chuckled. "No offense, but this ain't the same good boy you knew."

 

"Oh the man I knew was plenty a freak," Peggy scoffed. "But he still dragged himself to service every Sunday with the rest of the soldiers. Even got Dugan to lead a prayer service one time."

 

Steve blushed. "Peggy..."

 

"Oh really? And what would you say if I told you the little choir boy you knew hasn't been to one service since he got defrosted?" Sam said. He got a glare from Steve when Peggy started lecturing him after she threw a pillow at him. Steve rolled his eyes and got her settled back in, but then they got to talking. And sure, Peggy's mind went blank a couple of times, but when they left, Steve felt.... better and lost all at once. Peggy's words haunted him the whole way back to the house.

 

_Your mother would have wanted it and you know that..._

 

 

2.

"Steve would you chill out?" Sam said. "Come on, it was just an offhand comment I'm sure."

 

"....But she's right Sam," Steve sighed. "My mom WOULD have wanted me to baptize Bucky and I DO miss... church."

 

"Okay, then let's talk about it," Sam said. "What EXACTLY do you miss?"

 

"The... the continuity? I dunno Sam I just... I feel lost without it. Yes I have you and Nat and the Avengers. I have a family I've pieced together out of nothing, but.... But I still feel like something is missing."

 

"Okay," Sam said, settling in beside his partner on the couch. "So faith was a big part of your life. It's natural to miss something like that. But it's right there for the taking Steve."

 

"But... but they wouldn't want me, Sam," Steve groaned in frustration. "I'm... I'm with a man and I had a kid- two kids, let's not forget Nat here, out of wedlock. Not to mention all the stuff we get up to when they're both asleep..."

 

"Okay for one, everyone is kinky," Sam teased. "Catholics do get a bad rap for having a lot of kids, do they not?"

 

"Sam!" Steve laughed, whacking his boyfriend with a pillow. "Be serious here."

 

"Alright alright, but only if you promise to show me some of that freak that Peggy talked about," Sam laughed. "And not so loud or you'll wake the baby."

 

"Ugh," Steve pouted. "Fine."

 

"Now, if you really want to try and find a more accepting church, they do exist," Sam said. "But they ain't gonna be Catholic."

 

"....We don't have to stay if they don't fit, right?" Steve asked.

 

"Nope. Don't even have to stay through the whole service," Sam promised. "Deal?"

 

Steve smiled, kissing him passionately. "Deal."

 

 

 

3.

As promised, Sam had helped Steve  find a few churches to attend when they got back, spread out over the different branches of Christianity. They decided to try the Baptists first. But that fell through pretty quickly, because Bucky was fussy most of the service and Steve was a bit too eager to get out of there. It felt... wrong. They tried Mormon next, but Steve no more than touched Sam and he heard whispers. And again, Bucky wouldn't stop fussing. They came close with the protestants, but Steve still felt that something was missing.

 

"Dude, you're not opening yourself up to this," Sam sighed as he undid his tie. "Not only that but I think Bucky's cutting a tooth."

 

Steve grunted, just flopping down on the bed. "He is not. I'm the one who always has to shove my finger in there so he shuts up," He grumbled.

 

"Oh please. You just don't want to talk about the issue at hand," Sam bounced back. "Admit it, you're just making excuses because you're too afraid to go back to Catholicism."

 

"I am not!" Steve shouted. "I just want what's best for the three of us! Is that so wrong?"

 

"Yeah because every time we try a new faith or a new church you get all tense and antsy and THAT is why Bucky is so damn fussy all the damn time Steve!" Sam shouted back. "You just want to run and hide so you don't have to deal with this! You NEVER want to deal with your problems Steve!"

 

"Me? You really want to tell me how to deal with MY problems?!" Steve shouted. "You have no idea what the hell I'm going through Sam! This is a lot of change for me! There's no saints, no eucharist- hell, even the bibles are different Sam!"

 

"So what?! You think I got used to being home the first day? You're not the only one who hates change Steve!" Sam snapped.

 

"You know what, fuck this! I'm out of here!" Steve roared, literally ripping the door open.

 

"Good! I hope you find some kind of fucking epiphany while you're out there ignoring your problems!" Sam shouted, before going to deal with the now screaming infant.

 

 

4.

Steve wasn't sure where he was headed when he got on his bike, but he found himself headed towards his old neighborhood, towards the church his Ma used to take him to. He parked in the alley, pulled on his baseball cap and hipster glasses, and walked inside, hoping no one noticed him.

 

Thankfully the church was empty. It seemed as if the last mass had only just let out, because the choir was still finishing their clean up, and Steve just... stopped. He waited for some epiphany, for some sense of spirit to either smite him dead or fill him with purpose. But it didn't happen. He felt as lost and confused as he had when he left home. He huffed and sank down into a pew, He sighed, trying hard to just remember and function on memory, on instinct but this... this just wasn't working. He was honestly about to give up when someone sat beside him.

 

"Long day?" The voice asked. It was male, or at least sounded male.

 

"You could say that," Steve scoffed. "My partner and I had a fight about religion, of all things, and mostly it was just me being an ass and not admitting I'm lost."

 

"I see," The man said. Steve honestly expected him to scoff in disgust at that comment so he looked to see who he was talking to and came face to face with the priest. Oh great.

 

"I-I-I'm sorry Father I d-d-didn't mean-"

 

"Calm down," He chuckled. "You did not offend me, Steven." Great, the man even knew who he was talking to. "Why don't you come to my confessional? I think I can ease your mind, son." Steve blushed, but nodded. Not like he really had much to lose or gain at this point anyways. He followed the man to the back of the church, letting the priest enter first before he followed, glancing briefly at the name card outside the confessional, which read "Fr. Josey." Steve took a deep breath, sat in front of the man, and made the sign of the cross.

 

"Forgive me father for I have sinned," He breathed out quickly.

 

"I see. What troubles you my child?" Father Josey asked.

 

Steve blinked, surprised. "You mean you don't....?"

 

"Steven, I don't know anything more about you than that you are one of America's greatest heroes, and that alone is a lot of pressure to live up to," Father Josey said. "Now, what sins do you feel you have committed?"

 

Steve took a deep breath. "....I'm in a relationship with a man," Steve mumbled, fearing he would be struck down for admitting that out loud in a church.

 

"...And?" Father Josey asked.

 

"And? _And?_ Isn't that one of the worst sins I can commit?" Steve asked nervously.

 

"My child, you seem to be forgetting the ten commandments," Father Josey said. "And the worst is worshiping false Gods. Have you been making sacrifices in the name of Beyonce?"

 

Steve smiled slightly. "No."

 

"Then I think we're good," Fr. Josey smiled. "Now, this man. Do you care for him greatly?"

 

Steve nodded eagerly, smiling all the while. "I care very deeply for him Father. He calls me out on my.... my idiotic tendencies and pushes me to be the best person I could be. Heck, we're even raising my best friend together."

 

Fr. Josey gave Steve a dubious look. "Please tell me you haven't dabbled into the occult."

 

"No! no no no no no, i-it's nothing like that," Steve quickly amended. "Sergeant Barnes fell into enemy hands and suffered a lot of trauma and brainwashing and torture because of it, and we live with two Asgardians. Um, Loki just sort of magicked him into an infant and honestly I wasn't about to let the kid go again. I had just gotten him back and I love the kid and I love Sam and that's half the reason I'm here is because one of my oldest friends wants me to get him baptized and-"

 

"Slow down," Fr. Josey said, laughing slightly. "Steven, you obviously know where you need to be. The lord wants you to come home to him child."

 

"But.... But I've done so much wrong and I'm in quite an unorthodox family situation with Bucky and Sam alone. That's not even covering what I have with the rest of the Avengers."

 

"Are you in a polygamous relationship?" Fr. Josey asked. Steve shook his head. "Then I see nothing wrong Steven. I can see you care very much for your teammates and your family. God will place you where you are meant to be, and lead you down the right path. You need only listen to him. Now, you want to baptize the child?"

 

"Yeah, but... but I don't even know if I can because he has me and Sam as his two parents and we both intend to raise him as our son," Steve sighed.

 

"Do you intend to raise the child in the faith?" Steve nodded. "You want him to grow and recieve the sacraments?" Another nod. "Then I think the child needs baptized. I can give you the information you need before you leave."

 

"Y-you'd really let him in?" Steve asked.

 

"Steve, the safety of the child's soul is more important than what gender his parents are," Fr. Josey said. "Has anyone ever told you that you're not the reason that the world is in it's current state?"

 

"Most people tell me I'm the reason it got this bad," Steve scoffed. "....Father, can I... I mean can the three of us... I mean are we-"

 

"Come home Steven," Fr. Josey said. "God wants you here with us. He wants you to come to him. And bring your son and this Sam fellow. Steve, the church does not discriminate. She wants to reach as many people as possible." Steve nodded. Maybe God did lead him here.

 

* * * *

 

When Steve got home later, he had flowers, chocolates and the church bulletin. He nervously entered the apartment, finding Sam there, with a very unhappy baby in his arms. "You better have a really good explanation for running away like that," He growled.

 

"I'm sorry," Steve said, taking Bucky and sticking his super-soldier-sized finger into the infant's mouth. "You were right. I was just finding excuses to avoid the truth. I know where I belong Sam. Where WE belong. All three of us."

 

"And just where is that Steve?" Sam asked, but there was a faint look in his eye that said maybe he wasn't as mad as he was pretending to be.

 

"With the congregation at Holy Family in Brooklyn," Steve admitted. "I-I kind of ended up there and got to know the pastor."

 

Sam took a slow, deep breath. "And this is what you want?" Steve nodded. Sam smirked. "Well, I suppose. As long as you make it up to me for-"

 

Steve cut him off with a kiss. "Thank you," He whispered.

 

 

5.

It was three weeks later. They had taken the classes, gotten the kid a baptism gown, and even found two very good Godparents for Bucky. All the Avengers were in the pews, even Loki. Steve couldn't be happier. The ceremony was private, mostly because Pepper didn't really want gawkers and Steve still felt just a tiny bit self-conscious about being in church with his boyfriend. Finally, when all was said and done, They ended up renting out some Italian restaurant. Bruce and Maria fawned over their new Godson while the littles opened all five of his Baptism gifts.

 

The next Sunday, Sam, Steve, and little Bucky were at church, holding hands, when Bucky fussed, Steve gently shushed him. "Look for the angels Bucky," Steve whispered.

 

Sam smirked. "Something your Mom used to say?" Steve nodded. But Bucky didn't make a peep the rest of mass. And that was because Agent Coulson's soul was playing with the infant over Steve's shoulder.

**Author's Note:**

> Fun fact: The church I mentioned is actually a [real church.](http://www.stthomasaquinaschurch.org/) :P Like I said before: If you have any questions about this, or just generally want to talk, feel free to shoot me an ask on my [tumblr](http://littlewidowlovesu.tumblr.com) , or leave a comment. I do try to respond to most of you guys. :) ALSO: I start summer classes next week. So progress may be slow. Also, I have a couple of chapters ready for "Operation: Rescue Bruce!" ready. Is that something anyone is interested in right now, or should we wrap up this portion first? Anyways, love you guys and see you next time! <3


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